Normally it is really easy to speak in my mind, I planned a lot of things to share with you. However, when I started to write I forgot most of the things, even my topic.
In my whole life, I avoided taking attention from other people even though I wanted to say my thoughts loudly in front of other people. Instead of speaking loudly, the things I wanted to say kept turning in my head.
As a child, I always wondered how I could stop thinking all the time. Because it was exhausting and I could not sleep easily in order to create a world in my mind where I could say, think and dream freely what I wanted. There were no boundaries. Some days I was a writer who wrote things to be an inspiration for others and other days I was a super hero who saved people from poverty, wars and their boundaries.
My First Book
I do not remember I had a book before I was nine years old. I got my first book accidently.
When I was a child there were few books and maybe one small library in my hometown. There was a competition in this small library. If you make a summary from any kind of book, they give you a book. My brother, who is two years older than me, wrote a summary from a book for me and I took my first book by cheating. It was a comic book about the history of one of the first Turkish states.
My Father's Support
Having my own book was a turning point of my life. Actually, we were not poor and my parents could afford to buy many books. But it was not common although my father read a lot when he was young. When I told my father to buy me more books, he took me to one of his friends who had a bookstore and I lost myself in this bookstore. My father told me I could buy what I wanted because his friend's business was in a bad situation and my father wanted to help him without harming his friend's pride.
I cannot remember how many books I bought but I am sure it was difficult to carry them. After this, I spent all my money on books.
Passion to Read
Before I turned twelve years old, I already finished all the books in my city including all the world classics. I was always caught by teachers when I was reading secretly instead of listening to their lessons. My mother always complained that I should have stopped reading and started to study my actual lessons. Sometimes I had read some books many times and I started to create with my favorite book characters and I started to write. In those times my teachers encouraged me to write more and they liked the way I wrote. My friends and I wrote funny stories and diaries when we were twelve. We really enjoyed writing and discussing what we read even at this age. I never studied my lessons properly until 18.
As I got older, I stopped reading and writing a lot. I do not know why. Maybe, I was disappointed because of the fact that my dreams never came through.
As I read more I learned more about everything and it led to more emotional burdens for me. Finally, maybe I realised it was impossible to change anything in real life and I stopped reading because of this fact.
Now, I am 36 years old and I started to read, write and dream again.
Written by: Emine
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